Echolalia and Autism: Fun times

Before S became verbal, communication was mostly in the form of gestures and my super-hero ability to mind read. It seemed that most days, my job as mommy was either preventing a meltdown or racing to figure out how to stop one. And, since most of his meltdowns were caused by his lack of ability to communicate with us, it was frustrating and heartbreaking to all involved. My heart goes out to any family struggling to communicate with a non-verbal child.

After the verbal explosion, a whole new world of communication was opened, and for that, I will be eternally grateful. I can honestly say that I don’t think I will ever tire of hearing my sweet little boy’s voice. I don’t think I will ever be annoyed by the 100th “moooommmmy” when he wants something. And, I simply can’t imagine never wanting to have a conversation with him- because right now, that is something I’d love more than anything.

You see, while S is great at communicating his needs and likes, his conversations are not very meaningful… they really aren’t even conversations as much as they are statements. “I like french toast” or “I want juice” is just a statement. Does it have meaning? Sure! Is it a conversation piece? Nope.

With the verbal explosion, S has developed echolalia. Echolalia is basically the parroting of words and phrases heard by others. S will hear me say “Hi S” and instead of saying “Hi Mommy”, he will say, “Hi S”, just repeating what he has heard me say. Often, when we ask him a question that has two options, we have to put the least valuable option last in an attempt to get him to not parrot his answer. For instance, “Do you want to go to the playground or take a nap?” Sometimes, he will just say “take a nap”, not because that is what he wants, but because that is the last thing we said to him. It is obvious, as he grabs his coat and heads to the door, that he wants to go to the playground.

So, next week, S will be observed by a Speech and Language Pathologist. She will come to observe him in class and then hopefully be able to give me and his teachers some pointers on how we can help S further develop his language skills.

I know I long for the day when I can have a meaningful conversation with our boy. He is so sweet, and so smart and I just know that there are so many thoughts going on in his little head. I can’t wait to hear all about them!

If He Won’t Join ’em, Have ’em Join Him: Entering Autism

It has been a little while since I last posted. The past few weeks have been somewhat uneventful- some days have been fairly normal, while others have been higher ‘autism days’. Over all, things are going smoothly and I haven’t had much to share.

And, then there was today- a really awesome autism day. Is it possible to have an awesome high autism day? Apparently, the answer is “yes”!

Today, S and I spent the morning at our local aquarium. It is the off-season now, so it was sort of like having the entire place to ourselves. With less people around, S was able to focus more on the animals and less on retreating into his comfort areas (skateboards and steps). Then, after a nice lunch and a long nap, we hit the playground. However, it is the on-season for playgrounds. The weather has broken and sports are back in session- and so, the playground was packed!

Lately, I have been bringing a ball to the playground to help S break the ice a bit with the other children. Since most kids like playing with balls, it gives S an easy ‘in’ with the neighborhood kids, and as an added bonus, they kind of have to let him play since it is his ball. In the past few weeks, this has worked rather well; however, lately it has been pretty crowded at the playground- which is a bit overwhelming for S. Since today was so busy at the playground, S quickly retreated to the sidelines to play with mulch and thus, into himself. My attempts and luring him into the playgroups were not successful and I was left sitting there, watching other children play with my son’s ball, while he pretended that a piece of mulch was a skateboard.

I usually take a fairly hands-off approach at the playground. I want S to have this time to test out his social skills. I like to observe him and see where he struggles and how he is perceived by his peers so that I can think of ways to help him be more socially aware. While I do sometimes intervene here and there, overall, I tend to stand back and just take it all in. However, today I couldn’t bear to watch my little boy play alone while the other children were laughing and playing around him. So, I went over and sat and played “skateboard mulch” with him. As we were playing, a little 14 month old boy came over and he was engaging with me. (It is always interesting to see children do things that are typical for their age- S would’ve never done that at 14 months).

Without even realizing it, I began to include the little boy in our game. Before I knew it, 2 other little boys had come over to see what we were doing. Here we were, me, S and 3 other little boys- all playing ‘skateboard mulch’. Once I realized what was happening, I ran with it… I expanded the game to keep the other kids interested all the while gently guiding S into expanding the game from a solitary skateboard-focused game into a multi-player game of interaction.

It was as if a light bulb went off! If I can’t get S to enter the other kids’ world, I can just help them enter his… at some point, the will meet in the middle.

Within ten minutes, the kids- including S- were all running and playing ball. It was great! Not just a few minutes prior was I watching my son retreat into himself, unable to interact with his peers. By encouraging the other children to join him, I was able to help bring S back into our world. I don’t know why this approach had never crossed my mind, but I am certainly glad to have stumbled upon it today! It is so great to know that another trick up my sleeve to help S interact. Hopefully it will be as successful in the future.

In the meantime, I will enjoy this small breakthrough. :0)

“I Like Mommy”: Things That Make Your Heart Melt

S has never been much of a laugher. He was always a happy child, but we didn’t hear a real, true laugh until he was about a year old. My concerns over this were swiftly made lite of by S’s former pediatrician. “If he is babbling, you have nothing to worry about” he would say. Now I know better. S laughs now, but even though he is still very happy, the laughs don’t come very often.

Last night, while giving S his bubble bath,  I started to play a game where I would scoop up the bubbles in my hand and then give them a solid blow- sending them flying through the air and all over S. The laughter was contagious. I’m not sure I’ve ever really heard him laugh so hard for so long. And, as if this round of belly laughs from our sweet little boy wasn’t enough, his laugher paused for a second and while catching his breath he said:

“I like mommy”.

Heart. Melt. OMG.

Now for most parents of a two year old, hearing an expression- a verbal expression- of love might be something one expects or possibly even takes for granted. But, for a child that we thought would never speak, from whom we thought we would never hear those words, this was an amazing moment. I could have stood in it for an eternity. However, no sooner did S catch his breath that he requested more bubbles and we went back to our game. Fine by me- I could listen his laughter forever.

I’ve always known that S cares for us. It shows in his hugs, his smiles and even without those- in his happy demeanor. However, as a parent, it is still nice to hear it.

Sudden Verbal Explosion!: When Your Non-Verbal Child with Autism Begins Speaking

Until about two months ago, S bordered on being a non-verbal child. He knew a few signs… “more”, “milk” and sometimes “please”. He could also throw his hands in the air for “help”. He could say “up”, “hat”, “hug” and one or two other labeling words that really didn’t help us communicate with him. He did not say “mommy” or “daddy”, he could not say “hungry” or “hurt”, he really didn’t have any way, other than whining or crying to express what he wanted or didn’t want. This resulted in melt down after melt down and mounting frustration for all involved.

Parenting a non-verbal child is well, tough. I had another word I wanted to use, but I refrained. It is absolutely heartbreaking to see your child struggle, to see your child in pain, sad, angry, or scared and have absolutely no idea why or how to help him. Everything he wants, from something to drink, to I’m getting heat rash, to I want the ball, to I’m getting ready to throw up is not able to be communicated. This results in melt down after melt down and many a cocktail for mommy after bedtime.

About 3 months ago, S was enrolled in an early communications class through the Infants and Toddlers Program. The class meets two days a week for an hour and 45 minutes. Roughly 4-5 weeks after he was enrolled, we saw improvement. Soon, he was able to say “more”, “help”, “down”, “milk”. Then, just two short months ago, there was a verbal explosion! S now says everything from “waffle” to “octopus”, he can now tell me what he wants, from wanting to sit in his stroller, to wanting to play ball, to needing a snack.

Not to mention, I can’t tell you how awesome it is to hear two words we never thought he would say…”mommy” and “daddy”.

It is a pretty awesome thing, to be able to communicate with your child. This is something that most parents take for granted; I know that I never imagined the stress that not having communication would cause. I naturally always assumed that I would be able to communicate with my son… why wouldn’t I? I never dreamt that my child could have autism, that MY child would have a communication delay. That is something that happens to other people.

But, it did happen to our son. And, it is difficult, to say the least. S’s sudden burst of verbal communication has opened a world I was starting to think would never exist for our family.

The other day, S got a haircut (and a bad one at that). After he was done, the lady gave him a lollipop. Then, yesterday, S stood at the kitchen gate and asked for a “lollipop”. He was able to tell me what he wanted. Now, granted, we don’t keep that sort of thing in the house, so I did not have one to give him; however, I knew what he wanted and was able to offer a reasonable substitution, one that he accepted. All because we were able to communicate with each other. Just two short months ago, he would have stood screaming at the gate, while I offered everything from milk to sandwiches… having absolutely no idea that he was thinking of a treat he had earlier in the week. I can say that a ‘lollipop’ would have never crossed my mind.

There are plenty of other things too; all little things that add up to better days. From S wanting me to tickle him, to go for a walk, watch TV, color, read a particular book, see daddy or play bubbles. Each one of these things that he is now able to communicate, results in one less melt down. Less melt downs equal a better quality of time spent with each other.

Rather than playing the guessing game, we are playing actual games. We are getting to know each other better and I feel that I can better relate to him than I ever could before. Now, what else can I say about that?!